Goals for May 2014

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Wow, I can't believe April is gone already. I feel like the month just started, but looking at the calendar, May is here. We made it through April, the hottest month in Cambodia, and I am relieved it's behind us!

 Before I get into my goals for May, I wanted to share some thoughts on goal setting.

Last night, I was listening to a podcast from our home church Redeemer Fellowship in Kansas City. In the Easter sermon, our pastor talked about the danger of thinking we can bring about moral self-improvement on our own. Many people set goals and work hard to change themselves. But they fail to bring about any lasting change, because they never address the heart issues that cause the problems in the first place.

It was a good reminder for me about the motivation behind my goals. I recognize that I can't change my heart on my own. And even if I do become more organized, a better mother, and a more attentive wife, I still can't earn my way into God's favor. None of those things have any merit in God's eyes. The only thing that brings me lasting change is Jesus himself - admitting my brokenness and allowing him to transform my heart.

But that doesn't mean those things have no value. The reason I want to be a better mother is so I can point our son to the Savior. I want to be more organized so that I use my time effectively to build God's kingdom, not my own. These activities only have value because God has redeemed them from methods of religious ritual into a tool he can use for his glory and for the good of people around me.

Now that I've said my piece, on to the goals!

Review of April Goals
  • Survive hot season  - we did it. Woo hoo!
  •  - A good study that got me back into morning quiet times.
  • Complain LESS and encourage MORE - I asked my husband if I complained less this month. He said yes. Thank you, Lord, for changing my words!
  • Start Expat Living Group from the Influence Network - we're having a great time in our group and looking forward to adding more this month.
  • Start using home planning system - Sorta yes? I purchased the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle last week, and it included the home printables pack from LifeYourWay.net (you can check out the link - the individual ones are free). Like, 200 printables. It's a bit overwhelming. So I still need to look through them. But I've been writing out cleaning tasks every day on the weekly planner sheet from my blog planning kit. So that might just be good enough.
  • Work through Kat Lee's new HowTheyBlog.com Blog Planning Kit - I need to finish the project planning sheets, but the bulk of it is finished. And it was so good, I'm giving away a kit next week - stay tuned!
  • Host women's prayer night in Poipet to reconnect with friends - It's happening tonight!
Goals for May 2014

At the beginning of the year, I set goals for myself in five areas: marriage, motherhood, relationships with other women, my calling as a nurse and cross-cultural worker, and my blog. You can ready about the whole process here.

I have a lot of goals this month. I don't think they will all happen. But in my dream world, they all happen. So we'll see what really happens by the end of May!
  • Take Skillshare class on Photoshop - Chantel from A Harvest of Blessing hooked me up with a free month - which is awesome, because I've really wanted to take a class for a long time. And you can get a free month, too, by clicking here! They have hundreds of online classes on digital design, art, Photoshop, HTML, and more!
  • Host Google Hangout for Expat Living Group
  • Sign up for online nursing CNE class - Since we're returning back to the States in September, I'm hoping to start working sometime in November. And I need to get my nursing brain back in gear. 
  • Teach women's health class at church - one of the missionaries asked me to do this ages ago...so I'll give it a go!
  • Redesign blog header and blog button - meh, I get sick of headers so quickly.
  • Update 2011 blog posts - when we first moved here, the internet was horrible. So all my photos on the blog were really low quality. Last month I FINALLY organized our 9,000+ photos in iPhoto, and I want to reupload them into our older blog posts.
  • Read 31 Days to Build a Better Blog by Darren Rowse - I bought it during their New Year sale and still need to go through it.
  • Take Influence Network class - this is pretty much a given. 
It's going to be a good month. 

I'm looking forward to getting things done, but also enjoying time with my hubby, son, and friends. Generally after dinner, I don't worry about what I did or didn't do that day. It's all about kicking back and relaxing. And if I don't get all my boxes checked, I don't stress about it. 

I'm also linking up with Haley from The Tiny Twig for this month's goals!

So tell me:

 What's one thing that would make May awesome for you?

follow along!
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Travel Tips: 5 Do's and Don'ts in Cambodia {Part 2}

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

On Monday, I shared 5 do's and don'ts for travelers to Cambodia (read part 1 here). Today, I'm sharing the rest of my list.

If you have any tips yourself or any questions about Cambodia, leave a comment below - I'd love to hear from you!


Inside Central Market in Phnom Penh

1. Do bargain with a smile.

Market shopping is one of the highlights of Cambodia - some of my favorites are the Old Market in Siem Reap, and in Phnom Penh, Central Market and Russian Market. And you have to bargain - it's just part of the experience!

Bargaining is supposed to be fun - a way to interact with the seller and find a price that makes both of you happy. What can ruin the experience? Bargaining aggressively, being rude to the sellers, and expecting to get something for nothing.

Remember what I said in the last post about losing face? I've seen a lot of foreigners do that by offering ridiculously low sums for a souvenir, then acting angry when the seller refuses. It's important to be respectful and friendly towards the seller. They'll be more inclined to help you out with a good price if you show you value the relationship. Relationships are very important in Asian culture - even if it only lasts 5 minutes between the buyer and seller in a market!


2. Don't expect to get something for nothing.

Don't offer a ridiculously low sum in the market when you're shopping. It is expected that you bargain and offer a lower price than the initial one stated by the seller. But I've seen this happen: The seller says, "$10"; the tourist says, "$3"; seller says "$7"; buyer says, "$2".

Going backwards doesn't win you any friends! Respect the seller and the products, and offer a fair price. They're trying to make a living!

As a foreigner, you will probably pay a little bit more (or a lot) than a local would for a product or service. That is just part of being a foreigner. Is it fair? No. Do you need to get upset about it? No. We  joke that there is a surcharge on skin color here. If you are white, you will automatically pay more.

Even as a foreigner who speaks Khmer and has lived here for 3 years, it happens to me. And I've learned it's just not a big deal. Ninety percent of the time, it's a difference of a few dollars, at the most. If I know the local price, I definitely try to get it. If I don't, I figure out what seems fair to me and don't sweat over the rest.

Doing the same will decrease your anxiety and increase your enjoyment of your time in Cambodia!
3. Do hold your schedule with an open hand.

This is one of the most basic rules of international travel. Don't stick to your schedule.

Cars break down. Planes are delayed. Miscommunications happen when you are talking with people for whom English is a second language. It rains, and roads flood. Or the taxi driver takes a nap and is an hour late.

If it makes you stressed out to just read that, you probably shouldn't travel.

Cambodia can be unpredictable - and that's what makes it an adventure. Don't see your schedule interruptions as a nuisance, but as a way to jump into unexpected opportunities. Your bus breaks down on the side of the road? Go buy a soda and strike up a conversation with the shop owner. A hotel reservation gets mixed up? Smile, try to work it out, and find a new hotel if you need to. It just might be better than the first one!

Cambodians have an unshakeable belief that everything will work out in the end, no matter what goes wrong. We do well to take on the same attitude!


Jackie Chan is pretty popular around here...

4. Don't touch someone's head, point with your fingers, or touch anything with your feet.

The head is sacred in Buddhist culture, and the feet are the dirtiest part of the body. You should never touch someone else's head - no patting, rubbing, or touching the hair. The only exception is small children. If you accidentally bump someone's head, immediately apologize to show it was unintentional.

Cambodians rarely point with their index finger - it's seen as rude. Often, they will jerk their chin or point their lips in the direction of whatever they want to point out, or motion with their whole hand. Avoid pointing with your finger.

And finally, don't touch or point at anything with your feet - especially people! It's considered rude to put your feet up on chairs, wear your shoes inside, or show people the soles of your feet. Being conscious of what you're doing with your feet will help you show respect for people.

Photos of Cambodians who died in S-21 prison in Phnom Penh

5. Do read up on Cambodia's history - distant and recent.

Most people know about the genocide of 1975-1979. But Cambodia's history didn't start or end there. Khmer culture has existed for hundreds of years. And even the past twenty years have seen a lot of turmoil and development.

If you want to understand the Cambodia of today, you need to understand its past. Here are a few books I recommend that will help you understand the challenges facing the country now:

  • - Written by a journalist, this was one of the first books we read about Cambodia. It describes the recent events of Cambodia's history after the genocide - Hun Sen's rise to power, the multiple coups, and the struggle of young Khmers to make a truly democratic, free nation.
  • - Somaly was a young Cambodian girl who was captured into the brothels of Cambodia. She eventually escaped and became an advocate for freeing girls caught in prostitution. She tells her story in this memoir. Although she is a controversial person, her book gives a glimpse into the terrible world that many Cambodians live in. This is a really popular book on sex trafficking in Cambodia, but in light of the recent revelations of the lies on which the book is founded, I can't recommend it. At best, read it as life-inspired fiction.
  •  - Shors has written a historical fiction centered in the time of Angkor Wat a thousand years ago. He recreates the world of ancient Khmer, set in a time of war, love, and spirituality. 
  • - This is a fantastic guide book to the culture and customs of the Khmer people. It gives a concise, helpful overview of Cambodia's history, politics, traditions, and main tourist destinations. It helps bridge the gap between Western and Khmer culture.
  • - Pol Pot was the mastermind behind the genocide that killed a million Cambodians in the 1970's. Short met Pol Pot in person and after the war, conducted dozens of interviews with those close to him. To understand how so many people died in pursuit of a failed utopian experiment, you need to understand the mind behind it all.

That's it for now! Which tip was most helpful or surprising for you? Is there anything I missed you'd like to learn more about to prepare for your trip to Cambodia?

 Click here to view all Travel Tips for Rookies blog posts.
 
Note: Affiliate links used. Full disclosure here.
/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/
"affiliate", "cambodia", "travel tips series",

Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Travel Tips: 5 Do's and Don'ts in Cambodia {Part 1}

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies
Quick note - The reader survey is still open and I'd love to hear from you! Please take 10 minutes to fill out these questions {click here!} to help me know how to make Journey Mercies better for YOU - thanks!



Today I'm sharing 5 do's and don'ts for travelers to Cambodia.

After living here 3 years, we've certainly made more than our share of cultural faux-pas. And I'm hoping to pass on some of that hard-earned wisdom to you if you are lucky enough to visit Cambodia - a beautiful country with friendly people and adventures waiting to be had.

Cambodian culture is very different from the American-Western culture I grew up in. Many of our habits and customs, as foreigners, are opposite to what Cambodians expect.These tips will help you get the most out of your trip. And if you want more advice on dealing with cultural differences overseas, check out my post on that topic here!

If you are planning on living and working in Cambodia, I highly recommend reading . We read this book before coming to Cambodia and still refer to it. It gives a thorough yet concise introduction to Cambodia's history, politics, customs, and belief systems.

Because I have so many tips, this will be part one of two posts on the topic! If you plan on visiting Cambodia and have any questions you'd like answered in part 2, please leave a comment below or send me a private message via my contact page. Or if you have your own tips to share about Cambodia, I'd love to hear those, too!

Some of these photos were taken by our friend; some are mine. If you love seeing photos of daily life in Cambodia, check out my Instagram feed - you can find me at !

Do's and Don'ts in Cambodia

1. Don't get angry.

As a traveler, you will be faced with many experiences that will not go as you planned. You may get ripped off in the market or by the taxi driver. There will be miscommunications, and service in restaurants or hotels may not be what you're used to. The worst thing you can do is to show you are angry by speaking loudly, yelling, or becoming visibly upset.

Acting that way will not accomplish anything. You will "lose face". "Losing face" means behaving in such a way that damages your reputation and your relationship with another person. And it's one of the worst things that can happen in Cambodian culture. Losing face brings shame on you and on the person you're angry at.

I have rarely ever seen a Cambodian angry. Even in near-death experiences caused by another person's recklessness, the worst reaction is a shake of the head, tsking, and expression of dismay. When you act angry, people will lose respect for you, because they think you can't control your emotions. And it will be beyond awkward.

So - control your anger, and smile in the face of chaos. Get angry later when you're alone - not when you're with Cambodians.


2. Do be prepared for personal questions.

Cambodians are very curious about the outside world and about foreigners. I've been asked about my weight, my age, my education, my income, my birth control choices, my breastfeeding choices...obviously, many things that Westerners would consider too personal!

But in Cambodia, those questions are not offensive. Questions about age and income help them understand what your status is in relationship to them, which in turn dictates how they address you. And they are genuinely curious about your life. So smile, answer the question, or laugh and tell them you're too shy to answer. And remember #1 if the question really makes you upset!


3. Don't touch the dogs.

This may sound like a funny one to mention. But Americans? We see dogs as pets, cute furry things to touch and play with. In Cambodia, they are not.

I could make a lot of money if I got a dollar for every foreigner who saw the dog on the street, tried to pet it, and nearly lost their hand. Dogs here are not pets. They are guards, scavengers, or dinner. And they carry a lot of disease. Andrew and I have both been vaccinated for rabies because of the number of dogs wandering around who carry it. And a few years ago, we had to figure out how to kill a rabid dog when our landlord's dog bit our helper.

When it comes to dogs, keep your hands to yourself.



4. Do cover up.

Cambodians are modest people. Although sometimes I see young girls in skimpy dresses at weddings or outside karaoke bars, most Cambodians will look down on this. Most women here cover up from ankles to shoulders, although in bigger cities, fashion is getting a bit more relaxed.

But I cannot tell you how many foreign women I have seen dressed in skimpy shorts and tops, with underclothing hanging out - and then wondering why Cambodian guys don't respect them. Let me be brutally honest - most Cambodian women who dress like that are prostitutes.

Respect the culture, and cover it up!



5. Don't give money to children or spend time alone with them.

In tourist areas, such as Siem Reap and Sihanoukville, there are an overwhelming number of children begging or selling knick knacks. Unfortunately, most of these children are on the street because their parents are forcing them to work instead of attending school.

Buying from children or giving them money only keeps them on the street. It does not help them have better lives. Countless organizations are working in Cambodia to give these children education and job skills. Give your money to them instead!

Friends International is a fantastic organization working in Cambodia to help these children and educate tourists. Visit their website for a list of child-safe businesses and to learn more about the issue of child beggars.

One more note - Cambodia is one of the top destinations for pedophiles. And even if you have good intentions, you need to avoid any appearance of evil. There is no reason you, as a foreigner (male or female) should ever be alone with a child or children, without other adults. Protect yourself AND the child, and always have another adult with you.

Watch out for part 2 of this post! And leave a comment or send me a message if you have a question about Cambodia or your own travel tip to add!

 Click here to view all Travel Tips for Rookies blog posts.


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Note: Affiliate links used. Full disclosure here.
/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/
"affiliate", "cambodia", "travel tips series"

Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Psalm 23 - God Has All That I Need

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies
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The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.

 {psalm 23}

This Scripture came to me at just the right moment.

I read my devotional one morning, feel worn down and frayed. And although this is one of the most familiar psalms, reading it in the New Living Translation opened my eyes to its beauty. It simply describes who God is, what he does, and who we are in light of that.

The LORD: 
leads.
renews.
guides.
protects.
comforts.
pursues....me.

 He IS:
my shepherd.
close beside me in the darkness.
goodness and love.

 Me:
I have ALL that I need.
My cup OVERFLOWS with blessings.
I will live in the presence of God FOREVER.

 One sentence in that day's devotional stuck out to me - God is the only one who has the power to be your everything.

 Do you feel the weight of that?

We hear the lie crooned over the radio, spoken in the cinema by wide-eyed lovers, whispered in our hearts by our deceitful desires - I am what you need. I demand that of other people - my husband, my friend. Be everything for me! 

But another human being can never be loving enough to satisfy the cravings of our heart, powerful enough to stand up under the weight of our endless need.

Yet - God can.

I love that list of God's traits in Psalm 23. It encompasses everything I need to thrive in this life. And it can only be found in walking with the Lord wherever he takes me - through green meadows of joy, answered prayers, and friendships; and through the dark valleys of loss, pain, and disappointed hope.

Because of his love for me, I can say - I have ALL that I need.

And I pray that you find all you need in the arms of the Father today.


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What I Read in March

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

***Quick note - The winner of the book bundle giveaway is Monique! Thanks for entering, everyone!

So, I thought that when I had a baby, I'd have less time for reading.

I didn't factor in breastfeeding. Let's just say I haven't had an excuse to devour books on my Kindle or iPhone for 20-30 minutes several times a day in...ever.

I actually read more books this month than I did in February, and I finally knocked out a couple that had been on my Goodreads "currently reading" shelf for months. (If you're on Goodreads, look me up. We should be friends.) This excites me to no end, because I can finally move on to other books that have been tantalizing me for months.

Obviously, I like reading way too much.

So here are the four books I finished in March. Thank you, Declan.


 

 As a pilot's daughter, I always knew about the famous Charles Lindbergh. And as a reader, I've loved Anne Morrow Lindbergh's writings ever since reading . The Aviator's Wife (one of my top picks for 2014) combines both. Melanie Benjamin has woven together a beautiful novel of Anne's life, her tumultuous marriage to a driven and famous man, and her artistic reawakening as a writer.


 This has been on my "currently reading" shelf for a long time - not because it was a boring read, but because it was so challenging. Tripp introduces the need for personal ministry in the daily lives of believers and motivates us to live out the reality that God has put us in relationships as his tools to change people's lives. I'd love to reread this with others so I can really understand how to apply it in my own life.








 Andrew and I have been studying John for a few months using this book, and I finally finished it. Each section takes you through Gospel glimpses, whole Bible connection, theology, and personal implications for every passage of Scripture studied. Some of the questions were a bit narrow and leading, which means I knew what answer the author expected, instead of allowing me to develop my own thoughts. But it gives a good overview of the book of John.







I bought Londoners on a whim when I saw it on sale for Kindle. I've never been to London but love travel reading. The book is a collection of personal interviews with people as diverse as stock brokers, vegetable sellers, taxi drivers, immigrants, real estate agents - anyone you can think of who might live in London. I came away with a much broader view of the London I'll encounter when I someday visit (hopefully!).


Well, that's what I read in March!

 I'd love to hear what you read last month. Any recommendations for me?

 Next month, I'll try to keep it down to 140 characters. ;)


Note: Affiliate links used. Full disclosure here.
/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/
"affiliate",

Whitney @ Journey Mercies