The Power of Doing Nothing

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Last month, Andrew and I took a five-day trip to Bangkok. Cambodia had an extended holiday, and we all needed check-ups with the doctor. So we crossed the border, found a taxi with seat belts for Declan’s car seat (harder than you think), and hit the road.

I planned on listening to podcasts in the car but discovered the headphones I’d packed were damaged beyond repair. Since I can’t read in the car on bumpy Southeast Asian roads, I found myself with nothing to do for four hours except sit and watch the countryside pass by.

And it was glorious.

Sitting in the back seat of that taxi, I rediscovered the power of doing nothing

If you’ve followed me for a while, you may have noticed I like to get things done. Whether it’s finishing off my bachelor’s in nursing online while overseas or setting ambitious goals every month, I’m not a girl who likes to sit still. If someone asks me how my day has been, my response depends on what I’ve accomplished. Did I check off my to-do list? Or was it completely frustrated by a crying baby or power cuts?

Like a toddler, I have to make myself have down time. During the day, when Declan is actually asleep, I want to get as many things done as I can – even if I feel bone-tired. When my to-do list is ten items long and my mind is buzzing with new ideas, I find it difficult to make myself “waste time” resting.

Maybe it’s harder for me to stop working because right now, home is my workplace. And there’s always something left undone. I find it so difficult to give myself permission to do something just for the joy of it. I always feel like I have work to do, whether it's taking care of the baby, cleaning, or learning something new.

But this weekend, I made the conscious decision to leave Declan and Andrew at home and go out by myself – trickier than it sounds. We use an SP vehicle but I’m not allowed to drive it since I don’t work for SP. So I walked down the street and found a neighbor who was willing to take me to the casinos for seventy-five cents on his 125cc Honda motorcycle.

And casinos? Yes, the only place to really go for an air-conditioned getaway is the casinos. We felt morally conflicted when we first moved here about going to them. But no more – in fact, I am grateful they are here. But don’t tell anyone that. It sounds scandalous to say I am thankful for casinos!

So I’m here, sipping my pineapple shake and planning out my week – and just enjoying being away. I’m an extrovert, but I also get reenergized by time alone to write and process life. I’ve decided it’s ok for me to remove myself, if I’m doing it to get refreshed and refilled so I can be a better mom and wife. If I am with Declan or at home, I’m working; I never have mental space to just rest and do nothing.

And where does my faith in Christ come into this?

I think when I look at how the gospel applies to my attitude about rest, it’s easy to see what my motivation is for always working. I feel I need to work to prove my worth, to show that I’m useful and valuable. But if all that is based on my own efforts, what happens when I stop? Exactly what I fear. I cease to be significant.

That is what I fear – insignificance; being unseen, unimportant.

Looking at the cross, I can see why Jesus had to come to break me of my dependence on my own work. All my successfully completed tasks can’t bring me any closer to what I crave – significance in the eyes of God.

I need to accept that my work is worthless apart from the grace of Christ. Without him, I am unseen. But in Christ, I am known and valued more deeply than I could ever imagine.

If my work flows from his grace, then I don’t have anything to prove. It’s just a response to what he’s given me. I don’t have to feel guilty for resting, for doing nothing. I can accept that if I don't get everything done or I let someone down because of my imperfect humanity or I produce something less than stellar, it’s ok. I haven’t lost my worth, because my value isn’t in what I do. It’s in Who I follow.

So what’s the power in doing nothing?

It’s the power of resting in Christ completely. It’s making goals, but not being bound by them. And it’s accepting times of rest as expressions of God’s love towards me.

Recognizing that I am only human, I don’t have to keep working. I need to rest so I can be filled by God. And then he will bless my work, because it will be a full reflection of the glory he’s placed inside my heart to bring others to Christ.

2 Corinthians 3:18
So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
Linking up with A Harvest of Blessings.


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/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/
"grace",

Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Matthew 20:25-28 - Serving Others Like Jesus

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

I don’t know about you, but I really like it when other people do things for me. In fact, sometimes I expect it.

Wow, is that honest or what? That’s something most of us wouldn’t say out loud. But it’s something that has been showing up in my heart many times lately, revealed through my reactions to people around me.

Unfortunately, my marriage is where it pops up most frequently. A scenario that occurs over and over again is me “slaving” in the kitchen preparing a hot meal for my husband, while he chills out in the air-conditioned bedroom, reading or catching up on news back home. I feel annoyed when he doesn’t hover over my shoulder, asking how he can help, or doesn’t set the table without asking. We eat together, and I find myself thinking about the ultimate question: “Is he going to do the dishes for me?”

And guess what – once in a while, after spending hours outside driving to and from villages, standing in the heat, talking in another language, he is too tired. He showers and heads to bed.

And how does my heart react? I feel angry. I think about how much work I put into cleaning the house, cooking food, and now, washing dishes by myself (which normally takes all of fifteen minutes). “Doesn’t he know how tired I am, how much I want to go to sleep?” But what I’m really asking is, “Why doesn’t he want to serve me?”

 It doesn't matter how many times he's done the dishes before. Or the fact that he works incredibly hard every day helping others and providing for me. All my heart is focused on is that moment.

In writing out that scenario – just one example of how my desire to be served by others is revealed – I see how foolish and selfish it is. And it’s sobering to think of how many times I feel irritated or frustrated by the actions of others, because my heart is saying, “Do it for me! Serve me! Treat me like your queen! Make me comfortable!” Because trust me, it happens. A lot.

“But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
{Matthew 20:25-28 NLT}

In Matthew, Jesus says the leaders of this world expect to be served by others. Actually, I think all humans want to be served by others. When you have authority, it’s just easier to demand it. But Jesus says his followers are to be different. We should look for ways to love others, to lay down what we want, and to become the servant of the people around us. And Jesus gave us the example of his own life – the heavenly Ruler coming to earth, not to demand anything from us, but to give his life for us, and to serve our ultimate need for redemption.

This whole idea of serving others totally goes against what our human nature demands and the world expects. Is this natural to anyone? Even if we do things for other people, we still expect to get something good out of it - a nice word, a slap on the back, improved self esteem, or more respect from other people. But what happens when we don't get any of that? If you're me, you feel angry, annoyed, or less inclined to help out someone who doesn't "appreciate me".

Many times, our emotional reactions reveal who we think the real god is in our lives. Guess what? It's me. It's you. We like to think we are little gods who deserve a certain level of treatment from others. And when we don't get it, we often react badly. It’s easy to brush off our emotions, blaming it on the other person, and carry on in our lives without examining what’s really going on underneath the surface. What are my emotions telling me about my heart in this moment?

I am so thankful we have a Savior who showed us what it means to lay down our lives to serve others – our spouses, families, friends, and coworkers – in a way that will show them what God’s love is like. It’s a reminder that changing how I respond in difficult circumstances starts with letting God change my heart. I can't bluff my way to loving others; it can only come from a heart that's been transformed.

Because only God can give me a desire to serve others like Jesus.

Saying No to Comparison

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Comparison is an ugly game that I have played more times than I’d like to remember. I’m not the only one, right? I feel that as women, we are constantly pulled and tempted to compare ourselves to others: magazine cover models, ministry leaders, other creative artists, moms at the school pick-up line…

Last week, Ellen Parker {from the Sweetwater Blog} taught a class on “Saying No to Comparison” on the Influence Network. And I didn’t realize how deeply her words cut to my core {in a good way} until I started journaling about it. An hour later, I looked back at the mess of smeared words and highlighted sentences and realized, I have listened to a lot of lies.

Why do I compare my life to others – or my perception of what I think their life is? I’m afraid I don’t measure up, that I’m failing on some level to reach a standard for the perfect missionary/wife/woman. I’m afraid that others will examine my life and find me lacking. I look at other women and think, how can I get a life like that? A blog, a marriage, a family, a ministry that just looks so perfect and easy, compared to mine? And when other women encourage me, I brush off their words and don’t give it value – unless they happen to be my “comparison idol” of the moment.

Because that’s what comparison really is – making other people my god, my idol, what I worship and pursue. 

But I don’t need to be like ________.

I need to stop thinking, “I want to be like her.”

I need to want to be like Jesus.

I need to be who God created me to be – my own unique reflection of my Savior.

God is calling me to the cross of Christ. The gospel tells me the only comparison that matters is the one Jesus made for me. The cross shows me my life was compared to the perfect holiness of God, and you know what? I didn’t measure up. But the cross also says, Jesus stepped in. His love for me was so great, he took the fall and gave me his perfection. And now, the Father says, you are enough. Your life measures up. And I don’t have to keep working hard or wishing my life was like someone else’s, or boosting my self-esteem by thinking my life appears better than someone else’s.

The gospel crushes my need to compare.

 The gospel wipes out my pride and my insecurities.

 It simultaneously says, you weren’t enough, but now you are.

A practical {and painful} way I applied this lesson was to write out all my “comparison idols” – people in my life that I routinely use as the measuring stick for how well {I think} I’m doing. I actually wrote down their names and why I felt the need to compare myself to them. And doing so felt like I was being spiritually cleansed of the jealousy and anxiety that comparison brings into my heart.

And God showed me the only one I need to look to for validation is him. Yes, I need to continue examining my life and my heart, but not to compare it with other humans – in order for God to make himself known to me, and to allow him to change me.

So what truths can set me free when I feel the pull to compare?

I am loved by God.

I am made enough by Christ.

I am a unique part of God’s tapestry of humanity – not made to be similar to or compared with any other part.

The blessings and the trials in my life are designed to make me mature and complete – not to be compared with the blessings and trials of others.

And knowing the truth can set me free to rejoice in the blessings and mourn in the sufferings that others experience, with no jealousy, anxiety, or pride in my heart.

So I’m learning to let go of comparison, and cling to Jesus. He is the one who casts out my fear of not being enough and replaces it with his love.

How about you? Do you struggle with comparison? What Scripture and truth has helped you let go and love?


A Harvest of Blessing | Jack of All Trades Link Up

Psalm 91:2 - God is My Refuge

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Psalm 91:2 is a reminder to me that God alone is my place of safety.

What do you turn to when you feel fear or uncertainty? I often turn to a system or a ritual. When I felt anxious about becoming a mother, I made lists of books to read, baby gear to buy, tasks to conquer before he arrived. While preparing to move to Bangkok during a time of political unrest, I made contingency plans for what we could do if the unrest exploded into a full-out coup.

None of these things are bad, but the motivating factor behind them was fear, not trust. I feared the unknown and found external actions I could take that would make me feel more safe, more secure.

But then God reminded me who I really needed to trust: Him.

God alone is my refuge, my shelter, my protection. I can't completely protect myself from the unknown - or even the known, for that matter. But I can rest in the knowledge that God is good and only allows situations in my life that will make me more like Jesus and will bring him glory.

And trusting him means I don't have be driven by fear in my life. I can still plan and make lists. But my hope isn't in those things; it's in God and his control over my life.

It's human nature that we run to someone or something else besides the Lord when we feel fear. But I pray that this verse is a reminder who our shelter is.

What about you? What do you turn to in times of anxiety or uncertainty? How can we encourage each other to trust God in those moments?
/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/
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Whitney @ Journey Mercies

Psalm 90:12 - Our Lives Are Brief

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies


When I read this verse a few weeks ago, its truth struck me on different levels.

Part of it has been the realization of how quickly life passes us by. I still have a hard time believing we've been in Cambodia nearly three years, that I've nearly reached the end of my pregnancy, that I'll be twenty-seven years old next week. How did life pass by so quickly?

But I've also heard some gut-wrenching stories that reminded me that I can't take the days I've had so far for granted, without realizing their value. This afternoon, Andrew and I bought a car seat off Craigslist from a couple who had lost their baby in their second trimester. Another woman I follow on Instagram lost her baby at 37 weeks. Both were lives that were taken so much sooner than their parents expected. I realize that my healthy pregnancy (so far) is a gift.

And then I hear the classic refrain of parents everywhere - "Enjoy the baby moments, because they go by too quickly!" Yet how do you stop time from moving forward, extending those moments into longer ones that will last in your memory?

Maybe parenthood is just one way of experiencing the truth of Psalm 90:12. And it makes me wonder - what does it mean to grow in wisdom from the knowledge that life is brief and fleeting? What was Moses thinking about when he wrote this Psalm? (yup, the title says Moses wrote it) Psalm 90 says that even with God, a thousand years are like a day (verse 4). We aren't the only ones who see time as flying by, although perhaps for different reasons than God.

How can we gain wisdom from realizing that life is short? Psalm 90 talks about our eyes being opened to the holiness of God and our own sinfulness. It also asks God to let us see his glory, that he would bless the work of our hands. Wisdom comes from fearing and knowing God, and seeing our lives as he sees them - brief yet significant.

I think I cannot take it for granted that my life, or the lives of people I love, will always continue on as they have. Every day is a chance to do something or believe something significant. It guides my choices, helping me decide what I should truly pursue. Feeling that I have endless time would make me careless with how I spend my life, just as someone with endless amounts of money don't have to be as careful to daily budget those dollars. And it's also helped me realize how much I need God to guide my choices and direct me in what will bring him joy and serve those around me.

So that's my prayer for this weekend - that we would grow in wisdom and gratitude for the lives God has given us and seek to use them for his purposes, realizing that our lives are short. Yet through our relationship with Christ, they can still be significant.

/ Whitney @ Journey Mercies/

Whitney @ Journey Mercies